I don’t pressure friendships. I can go months or even a year without talking to a friend. Everyone has different things happening to them in life. Sometimes work, family or just life keeps you so busy that there isn’t time for your friends. This might not be the same for them. We all have different timelines. Maybe they need you or want to spend time with you and it is hard to get together. I think it is ok to simply tell them that I’m too busy right now. The good friends know when to give you space. The new or insecure ones, want to try and cram time into your schedule anyway. I choose to not let this happen. If life is crazy for me, I don’t have a problem just saying “NO”. No is a powerful word. I use it a lot.
I want my interactions with people to be happy and enjoyable for both parties. I know that is a lot to ask, but it is not impossible. The people in my life should be a breath of fresh air and a smile on my face. If I dread an interaction or always feel bad after a meeting with a friend, I have to stop meeting with them. Or minimize my time with them. But I don’t ever want to avoid a friend or burn a bridge with them. I want to be comfortable enough with them to be honest and let them know how I feel. Honesty sometimes surprises and/or scares people. But wouldn’t you rather have a friend tell you something difficult like “I’m sorry your spouse drives me crazy because of the way he(she) treats you, I need to get together with just you and not him(her). So that I don’t say something that will mess up our friendship.”
I will do almost anything for my friends. My life is better with them. But I don’t like getting involved in their life drama. I don’t want my life to filled with problems that I didn’t cause. Selfish? I don’t think so. Now I am always there if they need me to be involved. But I want to make that decision. Not let them make it for me.
Friends should enhance your life. Not make it harder. Friends should make you smile and laugh. Not make you sad and cry. Friends should love you for who you are. Never try to change you.
Don’t let anyone make you unhappy. Seek out people who make your life more enjoyable.