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Relationship Minimalization – The Users

People may think badly of me for this post. But I’m not trying to be popular. I am trying to be happy.

Sometimes people complicate our lives much more than our possessions do. Eliminating all interaction with people isn’t realistic. But choosing who you spend your time with, will make your life easier and more enjoyable.

Sometimes during your life, we have a friend who only interacts with you to take advantage of you.

A single mom who drops her kids off with you so that she can go out and drink. A neighbor who borrows lawn equipment every week. A family who spends every weekend in your pool. Are these bad people? No. But it is a one way friendship that is a convenience for them and a burden for you.

Tell them so. They are either going to apologize and truly mean it. Or they will argue and storm out never to be seen again. Either way they now know how you feel and will do things differently in the future.

Pride hurts. But some people will never change. Some people don’t want to change. Often a new neighbor will suddenly become their friend and you won’t talk to them anymore. This is sad.

But now you have more time for you and your family. You have less of a burden in your life.

{ 5 comments… add one }
  • Kim May 19, 2011, 9:16 am

    You know – this is a struggle of mine for a very long time.

    Sadly, the majority of my “friends” only contact me when they want/need something from me. They want tech support, pictures taken, “sleepover time” so they can have a break and so many other things.

    I find it challenging to say no because you don’t want to muddy the waters. Or, more accurately, perhaps it’s challenging to say no because you fear once you do that you won’t have a friend, even in finger air quotes.

  • Tanja June 1, 2011, 2:04 am

    I am a master at walking away. It solves the problem too, sort of. I’m still working on the concept of loving confrontation. More relationships could be salvaged that way but so far my loving confrontation attempts haven’t been very successful. 🙂

    • Marc Morgan June 1, 2011, 12:18 pm

      I’m trying really hard to speak my mind in and resolving conflicts. I’ve held a lot of anger toward a lot of people for way too long. I want to work through everything and have as little as possible hold me down. I’m a pretty quiet person and walked away most of my life. It is the easy route and sometimes the only route. But there comes a time when unresolved issues make life harder. I don’t want anything in my life that doesn’t make me happy. I’ve grown bolder and challenge myself daily. Good luck Tanja!

  • Jo@simplybeingmum July 6, 2011, 6:38 am

    Some relationships go way past their ‘sell by date’. Sometimes you need to know when to walk away…

    • Marc Morgan July 6, 2011, 8:54 am

      SOOOO true. I don’t want to live my life miserable, while attempting to make others happy.

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