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Relationship Minimalization – Facebook

People may think badly of me for this post. But I’m not trying to be popular. I am trying to be happy.

Sometimes people complicate our lives much more than our possessions do. Eliminating all interaction with people isn’t realistic. But choosing who you spend your time with, will make your life easier and more enjoyable.

Start with Facebook. How many “friends” do you have? If you have hundreds or even thousands, then you need to ask yourself why? Are you really such a huge social butterfly that you spend quality time with everyone on your list?

Have you met everyone face to face? Does this matter in today’s society? I guess not. But where did you make the connection? Through who? Someone had to introduce you. Has it been a good connection?

Have you added people just because they went to the same schools? I did. I once posted a HUGE class photo of my graduating high school class. It took five scans to get the whole class. When I posted it on the Facebook class group. I literally had hundreds of people request to tag the photo. Then a hundred or so people requested to be my friend. At the time I just accepted all of them. I was not active in high school. At all! So I knew very few of these people. Some of them were very interesting and I stuck up friends with. A few of these are even very important parts of my life now. But most were not at all active or just plain boring.

Have you added the spouse of a good friend? Why? Do you really know them? Are they just attractive and your curious about what they do on a daily basis? That is what causes divorces and affairs. It’s true, a huge percentage of breakups and divorces are caused by Facebook now. Or at least facilitated by it.

Time to minimize.

So I deleted all of the people that I didn’t interact with regularly. The ones that I didn’t genuinely want to know what they were doing. I figured if they really enjoyed my status updates, then they would request to be friends again. If they never noticed, then I am probably not missing anything. But now my news feed means more to me. I no longer have a bunch of posts that I really don’t care about. I only have the posts that are from people who mean something to me.

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Lisa Herrington May 18, 2011, 9:07 am

    I like this post! You’re right that it’ll likely ruffle some feathers, but it’s a valuable topic to present. Nobody taught me, growing up, that I should carefully evaluate my relationships and cull accordingly. I wish someone had. It makes perfect sense. I wish I’d thought of it. Decades ago.

    Still, letting go of people is tricky. It’s difficult—even when they are a drain on me. I don’t like to cut ties or burn bridges. But in the interest of self-preservation and life-improvement, I’ve been learning to do it. Hesitantly. Haltingly. With an exaggerated amount of guilt. And it’s getting easier because I’ve found that each time I let go of a person who isn’t good for me, someone amazing appears to take their place.

    Someone amazing steps into my life, and takes their place.

    Whoa. I go from pouring energy into people who suck the life out of me and leave me starved, to building healthy, balanced relationships that nourish me. Letting go of people who aren’t good for me leaves room for more positive interaction with people who are. So simple. So huge. So life-changing. Thanks for the life lesson.

    Love this post, love your blog!

    • Kalyn April 25, 2016, 9:03 pm

      Hey, that’s poerlfuw. Thanks for the news.

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