Marc and I have had many hours of conversation about minimalizing relationships. And we understand that some people find the idea of relationship pruning to be a little harsh, but for us it’s a matter of self-defense. Because we’re suckers. We find gratification in helping people. We want to be of service. We enjoy being of use. We like to give. Therefore, naturally, we attract takers. Users. People who are only too willing to be given to, served, and helped (and helped and helped) without the burden of reciprocation. Over time we have gradually minimized those relationships out of our lives and we’re better off for it.
Minimizing that kind of interaction makes sense. But (I believe) a minimalist pursuit has a lot to do with finding balance. So, what about the other end of the spectrum? Being surrounded by takers and users can be exhausting, but can an overabundance of love also be a burden? If so, then Marc’s in trouble.
See, I love actively. Energetically. Tenaciously. Some would even say ferociously. There’s really not a word in our language that can adequately describe the flow, the current, the intensity of love that pours out of me. Sometimes it brims, sometimes it gushes, but there’s always an overflow because the amount of love I have for my husband, my family, my friends… well, it’s immense. Immeasurable. And I’ve often wondered (worried) what it might be like to be on the receiving end of Lisa love.
Being in a toxic relationship where you give, give, give–with little return–isn’t good for you. But if balance is something we seek, then isn’t too much of a good thing just as bad? I wonder if the people I love would all be better off if I mellowed me a bit. Should I look into minimizing love?