I enjoy reading minimalist blogs. They’re a good source of inspiration and motivation. And it FEELS good to read statements and philosophies that resonate in me. I like to feel good. So, yeah, I do enjoy reading minimalist blogs. But, sometimes–like today–those upbeat, inspiring, motivating blogs are more of a beat down than a pick-me-up. Because today, I’m tired. And I’m looking to see if anyone else out there is tired, too. Too tired to cook real food. Too tired to sort and organize and dispose of… stuff. I’m reading these blogs and looking for an indication that other minimalist-minded people get tired, too. But it doesn’t look like they do. It would seem that other minimalists never get tired. Or apathetic. Or discouraged. Ever. But, on this day, right now, I’m all three. And that makes me feel weak. Like I’m an ineffectual minimalist. A failure.
I don’t like feeling I’m a failure. But, sometimes–like today–I come to a point where I’m done. I’m just over it. Mind-numb and apathetic. I have an intellectual understanding that minimalism works, and that it’s a journey worth making, but there’s a heavy fog that prevents me from seeing any progress made. Am I making tracks, or falling behind? I know that if I continue to strive for purposeful living I’ll be happier. Right? I mean, once I get out from under the crush of materialism life will be breezy and weightless. Right? That’s the appeal, at least. For me.
But, sometimes–like today–I simply can’t see that far ahead. This is when chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheez start looking like viable options again. This is when processed and easy are most appealing. This is when walking around the last five boxes of unpacking left in the hallway seems to make more sense than spending what little energy I have unpacking them one-by-one.
The minimalism march is rocky sometimes. I’d like to take a break, but inertia is a bitch. Once I stop climbing the mountain, I become the mountain. So, I read the blogs and I keep moving, one foot in front of the other. Just wish I knew I wasn’t alone in my minimalist fatigue.